If you’re afraid of writing, you might be afraid of letting go
Eddie Schleyner is one of my favourite creators, and one of the reasons for this is that he shows deep humanity in his work.
His writing shows us that nothing in creativity is ever ‘not personal’, because by definition you’ve given something of yourself to anything you create into the world.
And then the game begins. Which game? That of letting go:
“We have no idea what we’ve made until we let it go.” Eddie Schleyner
Whenever i read stuff like this, i am reminded of all the people who’ve told me they wish they wrote more, but don’t. The next set of questions tends to be interesting, and a bit uncomfortable.
Why don’t you write?
“I’m afraid.”
Afraid of what?
“I don’t know what my voice is.”
Isn’t the point of writing to find out?
“Yes maybe, but people might not like it.”
Are you doing it for them or for yourself?
“Well, for myself i guess, but the fear of rejection is real.”
And yes, that fear is very real. But it’s also something you learn to live with, because here’s the thing. We’re afraid to write because we might be afraid of losing control once the words are out there. If they live in our heads, they’re protected, like a newborn child. But once we release them, now they belong to the world. And the world isn’t always fair, kind or thoughtful in its response.
That said, this is the reframe that needs to happen. Perhaps we’re less afraid of the public’s response to our work. We’re just afraid of letting go of something that we hold dear: our own thoughts.
Another possibly useful reframe is that of generosity. If we believe everyone has a unique point of view, then the truly generous thing is to be open about that point of view (which is not the same as using this as an excuse to be an idiot to others). So depending on your own level of tolerance for tough love, you could say to yourself that you’re being selfish by not sharing your own views (it’s not something i advocate, but your mileage may vary!).
I really don’t mind which reframe you use, as long as you explore these and others you can come up with. What i can tell you is that once you learn to appreciate the feeling of letting go, and not knowing which piece is gonna be a hit or a dud, it’s wonderful. I am now fully conscious that 90% of everything i’ve ever written is probably not very good, but i had to go through that in order to get to the 10% that has made some small difference out there.
Quantity is the soil you need to grow quality, but the feeling of letting go might be the super seed mix you need to make it juicy.